Monday, November 12, 2007

The White Noise Supremacists review me!

This comes from Iféoluwa B. of the White Noise Supremacists regarding my review of their EP. At least I know she read it!

Avenged Sevenfold: 7
The White Noise Supremacists: 6

I could have put out the greatest record you'd ever heard and you'd still never say so. I had to read you begrudgingly like my record and make nonsensical remarks like "The name is the best thing they've done so far." So your opinion is that the name is better than the songs on that record? A name that is only "clever" if you know the context, which has obviously gone right over your head?

And then you bash Glare because it is too "indie-singer/songwriter" and has been done too many times before. I am an indie-singer/songwriter. What should my songs sound like? Polka? But you shat on it not because it was bad or there was "anything wrong with it". But because it wasn't as innovative or original as Avenged Sevenfold.

If you hate it, hate it. If you like it, like it. But don't put down my songs just because you want to seem like you actually have an opinion. To say the name is better than the songs and then go on to refer to the songs as "pop-mastery"...it seems like you are more confused than you say my musical direction is.

If it were anyone else, you would have raved about this record. But for some reason, you couldn't just flat out say you liked it without needless insults. If you want to be a reviewer, review music. Honestly. If it's shit, call it so. But my EP was so much better than you made it out to be and you know it. But you're safe. So you'd never say so. Well maybe I can just listen to Avenged Sevenfold and learn from the masters. What do I think of your review? I think I wasted 2 bucks on postage.


I have to say I got a kick out of this one. It's amazing that someone so thin-skinned is risking criticism she so clearly cannot accept. I have to ask, "If you knew that your CD was so good, why did you ask for my opinion?" Maybe if she put some of this fire into the music, it would have gotten a 7.

It's a good thing that I got this feedback though, because I was starting to think I was on par with Christgau or Fricke. I figured no one had offered me a full-time professional gig, because they were afraid to like me, not because I'm an amateur writer. Yeah, right.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee I wonder why you found out I read it? Maybe because you emailed me a link to the review as soon as it was posted with the instructions: "Tell me what you think?" Why didn't you post that email as well and not just my response to it?

I don't know what you are trying to accomplish here but you are the one who is making yourself look like an "amateur writer". If your days are so empty that all you have to entertain yourself is writing shallow reviews of bands, emailing them a link and then baiting them for a response so you can post it on your blog to "spice it up", then be my guest.

For anyone who may care about the origins of this "internet expose", I was just a musician who thought a review was shallow and lazy (MBV, Husker Du, The Cranberries?!") and just happened to tell him so when he asked. I think I was very clear and constructive. And I still do. If I have to take criticism as a musician, why can't he take it as a reviewer? I have many blogs too. Do you see me posting his emails about like some butthurt 2 year old? No. Because it is just one person's opinion and I DON'T CARE.

BTW, I did finally go to Avenged Sevenfold's myspace and take a listen. They do have a certain...je ne sais quoi. Will I ever posess it one day? Well, a girl can dream...

12:06 PM  
Blogger taotechuck said...

It's kind of fun to see Bob getting beaten up on. I take a perverse pleasure in this.

All personal satisfaction aside, though, this is kind of bizarre. Iféoluwa, your comments make it sound like you expect a 2-point rating system: Love or Hate.

Given the thousands of records I've heard in my lifetime, there are very few that I love unconditionally and that remain in my personal playlist for more than a few months. Likewise, there aren't many that I hate. (Carly Simon, The Alarm, Steely Dan, and New Edition would receive a disproportionate number of my shit reviews, but that's not really relevant to this discussion, is it?)

Most albums fall somewhere in the middle. They either make no impression on me and I never really think about them again, or I like them well enough and listen to them for awhile before I move on to something else. On Bob's scale, I would rate these records somewhere between 4 and 7.

I like food analogies. Zeppelin II and London Calling and Achtung Baby are like Twinkies: I can come back to them after 20 or 30 years, and they're almost as fresh as they were on the day they were made. But most albums are like a nice orange from the supermarket: it makes for a nice snack, but it's not very filling, it's already a little bit stale from being shipped from Florida, and it's not going to last very long.

So what's wrong with your album being an orange from the supermarket? Isn't that better than being a pack of rotten bologna or a box of unsweetened bran cereal that's 6 months past its expiration date?

2:53 PM  

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